just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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