I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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