can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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