He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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