so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
