But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
