yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Randomize
