Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
