Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
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She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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