I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Randomize
