yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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