Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
