Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
