My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize