I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize