yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
vagina is talking i cant
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
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