remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
