Tell her she can't have a vagina
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize