I think my fart just growled at me.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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