The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize