you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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