we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize