I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
