Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
