Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
