There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
