pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
