I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
