Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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