Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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