i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
