speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me