I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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