don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
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Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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