I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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