i jhust puked up my retainher.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
