Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
