I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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