TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
