i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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