I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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