I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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