Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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