you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Randomize
