Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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