birth control should be required to get into college
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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