I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
