i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
