Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
