That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
