She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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