His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
