I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
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