GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
