its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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