I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
