What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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