I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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