"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
