Where did you get a picture of my penis
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
