Whod you bang
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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