guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
the liver wants what the liver wants
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize