is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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