We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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